So I live near this old building called Hylton Castle. Now you would think with a name like that, it would be a castle. But 'NO' what we have is something known as a Gate House, and wile a gate house is part of a castle it is not 'A CASTLE' the actual castle part is the bit that is no gone, lost and forgotten.
But who really cares about some old building anyway. Well there is this one group called the Friends of Hylton Dene (http://www.hyltoncastle.com) which are also known as Castle in the Community who care about it. At least they say they care but all they really do is have meetings where the only things that get done is they all drink coffee and discuss the next time they should have a meeting. When these so called 'friends' manage to get some work done it is normally to organise some even where they invite incredibly sad and pathetic people who may or may not be related to the original owners (who cares as long as they share the same name right?) Then all these people leave sad messages thanking the friends for looking after 'THEIR CASTLE' like its their castle...yeah right. Just cuz they may be a distant relative of Baron Hylton who originally built it does not make it theirs, it has many owners over the years, it most recent being English Heritage.
Yeah lets talk about English Heritage, toffee nosed little gits who say they are all about preserving British History for the future generations to enjoy but when you ask for them to help with something that isn't some huge mansiony stately home kind of thing with some tacky safari park / zoo stuck on the back and they won't lift a finger to help. Oh they will send people to discuss 'options' but really that is their way of saying "Get lost we don't care about your stupid little castle". You do know that their great plan is to let Hylton Castle to fall to ruins and then to stick a plaque saying something like 'Here Once Stood Hylton Castle'. Now what they could do is to help rebuild at least the gatehouse (which we have already learned is all that is left) to its former glory and turn it into a kind of walk through museum thingy with a gift shop or something. Considering how many 'oversea' visitors it has while it's a dump (and trust me it is quite a lot) this number would probably double if there was actually something interesting to look at. Not to mention English Heritage would make money off of it to help with other causes. But no they want to let it fall down and stick a stupid plaque there...why? What is the the point in that? Who on earth is going to pay to come and see some plaque telling them that something once stood on what is basically now an empty field?
Now onto the important part...
The Friends of Hylton Dene...what is a dene? some of you may be asking. Well to put it simply it is a grassy, woodlandy, green area with lots of trees, normally a small river or stream and some wildlife of some description. Of course the Friends group were originally set up to help turn the dene (which lets face it as seen better days) into somewhere that people would enjoy walking through with friends, family or canine companions, but somewhere along the way they sort of got sidetracked by the whole castle thing. So while the castle is getting all the attention, what is happening to the DENE? Well lets just say that it aint plesent. The Stream is blocked up with months of garbage, the newish pond as more yuck in it then the north sea after an oilspill, trees end up burnt and broken, drug addicts and alcoholic twits roam freely around, joy riders torch cars and leave them for months before any body comes to take them away and the paths are in such a mess that it is amazing that you can even walk through the dene without twisting your ankle, falling over and breaking your neck. But who cares as long as the castle looks nice ! right? WRONG! who cares about some stupid old building anyway. The only thing it is good for is a home for all the wild life that has taken refuge there, such as the birds, bats and numerous insect life that have made their home within its walls.
Here is an idea for the friends of hylton dene, HELP THE DENE!!!! that is why you were set up in the first place, I don't care if you are changing or have changed your name to 'castle in the community' (stupid name anyway) do what you were originally set up to do and HELP THE DENE!!! If not for all the drug addicted alcoholic joy riding litter bugs then do it for the animals. Should the birds, bats, rabbits and various other wildlife suffer because you are all so stupid that you care about some man made monstrosity of an eyesore then the beauty of mother nature and looking after all the little animals? Shame on you...Shame on you. This is not to say that you shouldn't do work on the castle, by all means do work on the castle as it may turn it into a nice little tourist attraction that will bring all the benefits that having tourists visiting your city brings (tho what they are is a mystery to me, camera toting little freaks), but in your meetings at least try and figure out a way to clean the dene up for the animals and normal people to enjoy and don't just concentrate on the castle, coffee and when you should meetings to discuss when you should have a meeting where you plane the best time it is to all meet together to discuss the last meeting where you all planned where to have a meeting seven meetings in advance, that is not helping the most important area which is the DENE. Remember you were originally the Friends of Hylton 'DENE' not 'CASTLE' but 'DENE' if all you are bothered about is the stupid castle which would look better as a multi-storey car park anyway then why bother calling yourselves the 'Friends of Hylton Dene' anyway? Its dumb.